Updates from Maureen Chaloner

Burnout Isn’t Just Being Tired – It’s Being Done.

Burnout Isn’t Just Being Tired – It’s Being Done.

How to Recognise Burnout in Midlife Professional Women (Before You Implode)
Picture this: You’re staring at your computer screen with the enthusiasm of a wet dishcloth. The emails keep pinging, your to-do list is breeding like rabbits, and someone’s asking what’s for dinner… again. You fantasise about running away — not to Bali or anywhere exotic — just to a quiet Premier Inn room with blackout curtains and no responsibilities.
 
Sound familiar?
 
Welcome to burnout, my friend. And no, you’re not lazy, ungrateful, or weak. You’re fried. And you’re not alone.

What Burnout Really Is (Spoiler: It’s Not Just Stress)

Burnout is chronic physical and emotional exhaustion, usually from prolonged stress, and often paired with cynicism, detachment, and the nagging suspicion that you're failing at everything. (You’re not — but burnout lies.)
 
It’s what happens when you keep giving, pushing, fixing, and doing… without enough rest, recognition, or actual recharging.
 
For many women in midlife — juggling careers, kids, ageing parents, partners, or lack thereof — burnout isn’t a maybe. It’s a frequent flyer.

How to Recognise Burnout in Midlife Women (Especially High Achievers)

Let’s not beat around the bush — burnout rarely announces itself with fanfare. It creeps in, subtle as a passive-aggressive post-it note. Here’s what to watch out for:
  • You’re permanently knackered. Even after sleep. Even after a weekend. You feel like you’re dragging your body through the day.
  • Your fuse is about *this* long. You snap at the dog, your boss, or the person rustling a crisp packet   near you.
  • You feel numb or flat. You’re not even upset anymore. Just… meh. You’ve lost your sparkle.
  • You forget things. What day is it? Where are your keys? What did you walk into this room for? (Menopause doesn’t help either. Thanks for that, hormones.)
  • You start to dread everything. Meetings. Meals. Messages. Life feels like a series of obligations with no joy in sight.
  • Your body starts talking back. Aches. Tummy issues. Headaches. Insomnia. Your body is waving a big red flag.
  • You feel like a failure. You can’t keep up — and you think it’s your fault. (It’s not.)

Why Midlife Women Are Especially Prone

Because you’re the glue. The boss, the carer, the planner, the fixer, the one who remembers birthdays and where the plasters are. You’ve got experience, ambition, responsibilities — and almost no time to just be.
 
You may be climbing the career ladder while simultaneously managing hot flushes, hormone crashes, and people who still expect you to "just pop to Tesco" after a full day’s work.
 
Burnout thrives where expectations are sky-high and support is low. Welcome to modern womanhood.

So What Can You Do?

  • Rest isn’t optional. It’s essential. And not just sleep — mental rest, emotional rest, even sensory rest (put the phone down and sit in silence for a bit).
  • Name it. Admitting you’re burnt out isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom. Awareness is the first step to change.
  • Ask for help. You’re not meant to do this alone. Speak to a coach, a therapist, a friend. Delegate something. Say no. Let someone else hold the clipboard for once.
  • Reassess your work-life balance. If your job is draining the life out of you, it’s time to re-evaluate. A change doesn’t have to be drastic — but you deserve better than soul-sapping survival. Choose you. Even if it’s just for 15 minutes a day. A walk. A bath. A chapter of a book. A conversation that isn’t about logistics.

Final Thought

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been strong for too long without a break. If you’re nodding along to this blog with a lump in your throat — that’s your sign.
 
You deserve to feel vibrant, valued, and alive again.
 
And if you need help finding your way back to that version of you — I’m here. Book a free discovery call and let’s chat about what’s possible for you.  Book HERE

"I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore" Rediscovering Yourself After Years of Being Everything to Everyone

"I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore" Rediscovering Yourself After Years of Being Everything to Everyone
You ever look in the mirror and think, “Who the hell is she?” 
Not in a “Blimey, who stole my collagen?” way—although, yes, gravity does have a cruel sense of humour—but in that soul-level sense. That disorienting moment where you realise somewhere along the way, you stopped being you. 
 You became:
 The mum. 
 The wife. 
 The manager. 
 The caregiver. 
 The peacekeeper, the organiser, the one who remembers everyone’s birthdays—including the dog’s. 
And you did it brilliantly, by the way. But now… it’s quiet. The kids don’t need you quite the same way. The career isn’t lighting you up like it once did. And your body’s sending you strongly worded memos in the form of hot flushes and 3am anxiety wake-ups. 
And suddenly you realiseyou’ve spent so long holding everyone else together, you never noticed you were unravelling. 
🔍 Where Did You Go? 
This is such a common thing I hear from women I coach: 
 “I don’t know who I am anymore.” 
 And what they really mean is: I’ve forgotten how to be just me. 
Because being “just you” doesn’t feel like enough when you’ve been measured by what you do for others your whole life. 
But let me tell you something important, love: 
You’re still in there. 
Under the sensible cardigans and the carefully juggled schedules is a woman who once danced in the kitchen to George Michael, who dreamed of writing a book, or opening a flower shop, or learning Spanish just because. 
She’s not gone. She’s just buried under decades of “shoulds.” 
🧭 The Mid-Life Awakening (Not a Crisis, Thank You Very Much) 
You’re not broken. You’re awakening. And no, it’s not always glamorous. 
Rediscovery looks like sitting in silence for five minutes and noticing what thoughts come up when nobody’s asking you for anything. 
It looks like crying in the car park because you can’t remember what you like doing for fun anymore. 
It looks like Googling “life coach for women over 50” at 2am with a cuppa in one hand and a Hobnob in the other. 
And you know what? That’s more than OK. That’s the start of something beautiful. 
✨ You Get to Choose Who You Want to Be Next 
This chapter of your life isn’t about going backwards. You don’t need to become the woman you used to be. That was her season. This is yours. 
This time, you get to do it on your terms. 
  • You get to say no.
  • You get to put your needs first without guilt.
  • You get to explore, play, experiment, and mess up without the whole world falling apart.
You get to matter again. 
❤️ One Last Thing… 
If this blog felt like a bit of a gut punch (in the best kind of way), then maybe you’re ready to take the next step. 
This is the kind of work I love doing with women—helping you remember who you are, what you want, and how to actually go for it (without burning out or biting someone’s head off in the process). 
Let’s have a chat. 
No pressure, no fluff. Just a warm, honest conversation about where you are—and where you’d like to go. 
Because love, you deserve to feel like you again. 
Book a FREE coaching discovery call with me today HERE
 

Rebuilding Confidence & Thriving After Divorce: A Guide for Mid-Life Women

Rebuilding Confidence & Thriving After Divorce: A Guide for Mid-Life Women
Divorce is a seismic life shift. One minute, you’re managing work, family, and your daily to-do list, and the next, you’re navigating a sea of emotions, financial worries, and an identity crisis you never signed up for. It’s exhausting, overwhelming, and at times, utterly isolating. But here’s the truth: you are not alone, and you can come out stronger, wiser, and more confident than ever. Let’s break down the biggest challenges and, more importantly, how to tackle them head-on.

1. Overwhelmed & Exhausted

Between work deadlines, family responsibilities, and the emotional toll of divorce, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re running on fumes. The constant juggling act can leave you feeling stretched too thin.
How to overcome it:
  • Prioritise ruthlessly – Not everything needs your immediate attention. Create a simple, manageable to-do list each day.
  • Ask for help – Whether from friends, family, or a therapist, you don’t have to do it all alone.
  • Self-care isn’t selfish – A walk in nature, a quiet cup of tea, or even a good book can do wonders for recharging your batteries.

2. Lonely & Isolated

Divorce can be a social minefield. Mutual friends may drift, and you might feel like you don’t fit in anywhere anymore. The loneliness can be deafening.
How to overcome it:
  • Reconnect with old friends – Reach out to people you lost touch with. Chances are, they’d love to hear from you.
  • Find new circles – Join a hobby group, take up a new class, or even try an online community for women in mid-life transitions.
  • Travel solo – If you can, book a short getaway to somewhere new. It’s empowering and refreshing.

3. Loss of Identity & Confidence

Who are you outside of being a wife, mother, or partner? When those roles shift, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost yourself.
How to overcome it:
  • Explore new interests – Always wanted to paint, dance, or write? Now’s the time to try.
  • Dress for confidence – A wardrobe refresh can lift your spirits and remind you of your unique style.
  • Affirm your worth daily – Stand in front of the mirror and remind yourself: I am enough. I am strong. I am still me.

4. Financial Anxiety

Money worries can be one of the scariest parts of starting over, especially if you relied on a joint income.
How to overcome it:
  • Get financial advice – A financial planner can help you create a clear, realistic plan for your future.
  • Budget smartly – Track your spending and focus on essentials while planning for treats, too.
  • Consider new income streams – Freelancing, consulting, or even a side hustle can bring in extra income and boost your confidence.

5. Guilt & Self-Blame

The ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ can be relentless. But beating yourself up won’t change the past.
How to overcome it:
  • Reframe your thinking – Instead of dwelling on mistakes, focus on what you’ve learned and how you can grow.
  • Forgive yourself – You did the best you could with what you knew at the time.
  • Write a letter – Express your feelings on paper—then tear it up. It’s a powerful way to release guilt.

6. Fear of the Future

The unknown can feel terrifying. Will you be alone forever? Will life ever feel stable again?
How to overcome it:
  • Take small steps – You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Focus on what you can control now.
  • Create a vision board – Visualising your future can help shift your mindset towards hope and excitement.
  • Embrace the adventure – This is a new chapter. Who knows what wonderful opportunities await?

7. Anger & Resentment

Betrayal, unfairness, and unresolved pain can fuel resentment. Carrying it around only weighs you down.
How to overcome it:
  • Allow yourself to feel – Suppressing emotions only makes them fester. Let yourself cry, scream, or write it all out.
  • Practice forgiveness (for you, not them) – Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behaviour; it’s about freeing yourself from its grip.
  • Channel anger into action – Exercise, volunteer work, or even redecorating your home can turn negative energy into positive change.

Celebrities Who Came Back Stronger

If you need inspiration, look no further than these women who transformed their lives post-divorce:
  • Adele – She turned her heartbreak into the record-breaking album 30, proving that healing can be powerful.
  • Elizabeth Hurley – After her split from Hugh Grant, she rebuilt her career and became a thriving businesswoman.
  • Tina Turner – She left an abusive marriage and went on to become a music legend, showing that life can begin again at any age.

Final Thoughts

Divorce isn’t the end of your story; it’s the beginning of a new chapter. It’s a chance to rediscover yourself, rebuild your confidence, and create a life that’s truly yours. You are stronger than you know, and your best days are still ahead. 💖

If you need any help with beginning your new chapter in life. Please contact me..


Self-Esteem in Mid-Life: Why It’s Your Secret Weapon

Self-Esteem in Mid-Life: Why It’s Your Secret Weapon


Ah, mid-life. That delightful stage where you realise that the ‘anti-aging’ creams lied, your knees make noises they never used to, and you suddenly have a strong opinion on comfortable shoes. It’s also the time when many women start questioning their worth. 

Careers plateau, kids (if you have them) fly the nest, relationships shift, and society seems to act as if we’ve passed our sell-by date. If there’s one thing that will keep you thriving rather than just surviving in mid-life and beyond, it’s self-esteem.

Self-esteem isn’t about strutting around like Beyoncé on a world tour (although, if you can, more power to you). It’s about how you see yourself, how you speak to yourself, and what you believe you deserve. And let’s be honest—many of us have spent years putting everyone else first, often at the expense of our own confidence. 

By mid-life, it’s no wonder so many women feel stuck, overlooked, or, dare I say, invisible. But here’s the good news: self-esteem isn’t something you’re either born with or not. It’s something you can build, strengthen, and reclaim—starting now.

A solid sense of self-worth is essential for navigating career changes. Whether you're aiming for that well-deserved promotion, considering a career shift, or contemplating finally starting that business you've always dreamed about, self-esteem is your fuel. Without it, you may find yourself downplaying your experience, shying away from opportunities, or letting self-doubt do all the talking. But with it? You start recognising your value, owning your expertise, and refusing to be dismissed just because someone in HR thinks 50 is “too old to adapt” (spoiler alert: it isn’t).

Then there’s the impact of self-esteem on relationships. By the time we hit mid-life, we’ve (hopefully) stopped tolerating nonsense, whether it’s from friends, partners, or pushy family members who still think they can dictate our choices.

A strong sense of self-worth means you stop putting up with toxic dynamics and start surrounding yourself with people who actually deserve your time and energy. No more being the default emotional support system for energy-draining people who wouldn’t return the favour if you were on fire.

And let’s talk about the elephant in the room: aging. Society loves to make women feel like they lose value as they get older—especially once we stop being “youthful” (whatever that means). But honestly, who wants to go back to being 20 and insecure when you can be 50 and fabulous? 

True confidence comes from knowing your worth beyond wrinkles, grey hairs, or how well you “keep up” with trends. When you value yourself, you stop worrying about whether the world finds you relevant and start living for you.

So, how do you rebuild your self-esteem if it’s taken a bit of a battering? Start small. Speak to yourself with kindness instead of criticism. Set boundaries that protect your peace. Prioritise your happiness without guilt. Invest in personal growth, whether it’s through coaching, reading, or finally saying “yes” to that thing you’ve been putting off. And above all, remind yourself daily that you are not “past your prime.” You are in your prime. The best years of your life aren’t behind you—they’re right here, waiting for you to step into them with confidence.

Because if there’s one thing you should never let go of in mid-life, it’s the belief that you are worthy—of happiness, of success, and of the life you truly want. Now, go forth and own it.

What is Called Thinking?

What is Called Thinking?
This week, I delved into Rabbi Zohar Atkins' thought-provoking newsletter, "What Is Called Thinking?" His recent exploration of Jorge Luis Borges' short story, "Funes the Memorious," particularly resonated with me. 

The narrative portrays Ireneo Funes, a man afflicted with perfect memory, rendering him incapable of abstraction and generalisation. This condition leads to a profound paradox: while memory is essential, the ability to forget is equally vital for cognitive and personal well-being.

Reflecting on this, I see clear parallels in leadership and personal development. Leaders often accumulate vast experiences and knowledge, but clinging to outdated information or past failures can hinder progress. Embracing 'intentional forgetting' allows leaders to discard obsolete paradigms, fostering adaptability and innovation. As highlighted in an article from Frontiers in Psychology, forgetting is not a malfunction but an adaptive function to suppress information that is no longer relevant.

Moreover, the concept of 'responsible forgetting' suggests that by intentionally letting go of less important information, we enhance our capacity to remember what truly matters. This selective memory is crucial for leaders aiming to maintain strategic clarity and focus. A study discussed by the NeuroLeadership Institute found that participants who actively forgot inconsequential details were better at recalling essential information.

In essence, both Borges' literary work and contemporary research underscore the transformative power of selective forgetting. For leaders and individuals alike, the art of forgetting is not about neglecting the past but about discerning which memories serve our present and future goals. By doing so, we create space for innovation, resilience, and authentic connections.
(Thinking with Zohar Atkins- Stoa Meditation 2022)
 
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Meet Me

 
Hi
My name is Maureen (Mo) Chaloner and  I am a qualified Holistic Life Coaching Master, Personal Development Coach and Author. You can purchase my eBooks - see the Menu.
I live in Wiltshire in the UK, and thanks to technology I coach my lovely lady clients anywhere in the English speaking world where there is access to Wifi …isn't technology great?
Who do I coach? 
I coach professional women and busy mums like you in their 40s and 50s+ in all aspects of life through my affordable Holistic Personal Development programmes:-  

>Breaking Barriers Programme 6 week Fast Track

>Unseen to Unstoppable Coaching 12 WEEK Programme 


What challenges do ladies in mid-life face?

  • You may be wanting a promotion at work but lack the confidence to apply when the opportunity arises.
  • You may be looking to change your career path entirely and don't know what you want, or you know, but limiting beliefs are holding you back and you don't know where to start.
  • You may want to stop being undervalued, taken for granted, not seen and not heard in the workplace, at home, or in your relationships.  
  • You are retired or coming up for retirement and wondering "what's next"? I work with you to discover how you can find a new purpose in life post retirement, you can even start a new career(I did, and never regretted it)
I understand the challenges faced by ladies in mid-life because I have faced many challenges in my life at a young age and also as a mature woman, and have managed to overcome them and change my life. 
It took a great deal of time and effort (often nothing worthwhile doing in life is easy) and the help of my own personal life coach recommended by a good friend.
Because I understand your hopes, fears and dreams, I can help you build the life you want through my personal development coaching programmes.
I have coached many ladies to make changes to their lives through helping them understand the importance of  learning self discipline,  self- love, self -confidence, overcoming fear, maintaining personal barriers, and discover their life purpose and who they can become. I teach them the art of saying NO more often and without feeling  guilty.
I can help YOU plan and pursue the most ideal version of your life for the present and the future. I help you become that 'Radiant Butterfly'!

 Click the button below for more information and to book a complimentary no obligation 1/2 - 1hr Discovery Call TODAY 
This call is only for ladies who are genuinely interested in coaching 

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